My Vanity...

Sometimes karma has its own way of sending us messages. The one part of my body I am truly vain about is my hands. They are not perfect...my veins are visible, one of my fingers is crooked from an injury...but they are slender and long and as a child they were often remarked upon.

My fingertips I enjoy most, maybe because of the sensual pleasures they afford me. I like to trail my fingertips lightly over things...skin, water, metal, rocks, curves in architecture, staircase banisters.

Here's where karma comes in. Last year I developed a condition known as "fingertip excema". As the name suggests, it only afflicts the fingertips. First the skin becomes hard, not visibly, but I can feel it. As though there are invisible callouses on my fingertips. Then the skin begins to crack and peel. This is, of course, extraordinarily painful. More than that, I lose all sensation in my fingertips and so am robbed of the pleasure I derive from the nerve endings there.

It comes and goes, and when it goes I am delighted. So maybe this is a lesson in fragility and appreciation.